Year of Yes! By Shonda Rhimes

"I am not lucky. Do you know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way, and I work hard. Don't call me lucky. Call me a badass." – Years of Yes by Shonda Rhimes.

Years of Yes is a self-help book written by an author who is also an actress, Shonda Rhimes. It is semi-autobiographical and serves as the retrospective of Rhimes on the development of her as an individual from first being an introvert to being a very outspoken public figure. The main ways Rhimes aimed for this transformation was, as said by her, to say yes whenever she came across a question, answering which in affirmation invited some uncertain risk. She says that by simply saying yes to such situations, people can acquire extrovert traits that help them build self-love. 

This book, Year of Yes, is a total marvel as it is a complete survival guide. For many other ambitious women and people in general out there, including myself, we can learn the basic idea of overcoming the limiting ideas and beliefs. Shonda has made a sharp observation on everything, i.e., from working in motherhood and nurturing creativity, having career growth, and intersectionality. She has applied her Shonda-Rhimes storytelling magic in her own life. Even though she has highlighted most of the social issues acting to limit women's progress, it is still a fast and engaging read.

Learning To Say YES

A common conversation with her sister was what unsettled Shonda in the first place. Her sister said that you never say yes to anything, and this was when she decided to say yes to everything that came her way the following year. This book is detailed on her struggle to keep sticking with this commitment to end up with a personal renaissance. Although she was already quite a successful producer, she still feared speaking in public and entering social situations. Being a confessed introvert, Shonda often felt like an outsider, even though she had accomplished a lot by then.

Reconciling Motherhood, Work And Identity

We are always taught who we are is who we believe ourselves to be. Until we enter into a career, get married, or have kids, then we start defining ourselves in those roles. This starts boxing us in. Shonda has described that she was unprepared before adopting her 3 kids because of the major impact motherhood had on her work. She has fought against guilt, dealing with judgment with others and how everything affects the mental energy we have and our self-confidence. Shonda loves her work. She also laments setting up unrealistic expectations for working women; they do not still daunt her. She has stated that she wants her daughters to know her and see her as a lady who works. She wishes to set this example for them. They love coming to Shonda's offices, and they love what kind of person Shonda is. Their mother is whole and happy.

Managing Creativity

Shonda still admits that though she has always known that she wanted motherhood, she still had no idea how raising little children would affect her creativity, focus, and the demanding workload. In her book, she has liked the process of going into a state of writing flow to the running of a 5-mile race. Writing is just like “laying track.” Writing is a new high. She says that when you sit down and write every single day, it becomes a lot easier to tap into the creative space that exists in your brain.

Needing Help

She has dedicated a chapter in the book to how life in the phase of motherhood has reshaped her willingness to accept incoming help. That moms who work need a support network, either it is from friends, family, or paid caregivers, or a combination of these three. She says that she has read many books based on the topic of working women, and she got stuck with the fact that none ever seems like she wants to have help from home. And this isn't the best thing for women who don't have help in their home. Shonda says that having a nanny improved her and her three children's lives in a positively.

Leaving No Mom Behind

Shonda has explained many hilarious stories, starting from the early days of having her first baby and then moving to parent-teacher meetings. In this entire time, she calls on all moms to not leave any mom behind. To resist the ever so harsh judgment and to support one another's choices, even when they are different from our own, is what is essential. That whole world of motherhood, i.e., staying at home or working out, crafting or not crafting, baking or not baking – has a lot to do with the identity of her pre-kid. One nirvana of a mom doesn't work for all. By identifying that we are all fighting similar fears and pressures, we are able to help each other.

The Humble Habit Of Women

Shonda was quite honored in the industry among other women of the entertainment industry in a very prestigious event. She carefully observed that being Editor in Chief, pointing to every woman and naming her great achievements, every single woman either looked away, ducked her head, gave an embarrassed look, or laughed in embarrassment. This is the dilemma we are facing to gain equality. If women like Shonda Rhimes and all the others in their top career cannot comfortably recognize their accomplishments, then it doesn't end well for the rest of us.

Observing Versus Judging

Shonda learned to show herself loving-kindness and by the end of the year she planned to say yes. She considered herself very competitive in nature, and she still encourages that accepting differences is what beauty is. We are living in a very confusing world where we all don't want to recognize our beauty and sometimes not even someone else's. Hence it is the right time to start and accept the changes and differences we all have. 

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