Daring Greatly - by Brené Brown
Through this book, the author has given us an in-depth lesson of traits that give us the success we need. It is explained that knowing defeat or victory is not a vulnerability trait but an understanding that both of them are equally necessary. Brown shares how the courage of being vulnerable transforms the way we love, live, parent, and lead. Each part of our lives are full of vulnerability, and we aren't fully living if we are not open to vulnerability. In this book, you will get to know the largest myths around vulnerability, including:
Vulnerability is a weakness.
“I do not do vulnerability.”
Vulnerability is allowing it all to hang out.
We can do it all alone.
You will also get the learning of some of the most common types of vulnerability armor and how you can disarm yourself from them:
Foreboding joy and practicing gratitude.
Perfectionism or appreciating imperfection.
Numbing or settling boundaries, cultivating the spirit and finding comfort.
You can learn to be vulnerable; you must learn to combat shame and blame to ultimately disengage first.
"Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance."
― Brené Brown
Daring Greatly has gotten so much love and praise from people who have read it, which is why I have thought to start reading it. I won't stop myself from saying that I have fallen in love with how Brené Brown delivers her ideas and connects with the readers. It starts with whether it's a parent scolding you for something you have done wrong or your boss publicly calling you out for an error made. We all have bad feelings of shame in some parts of our lives. In fact, shame is like an inherent part of the human condition.
But did you know that shame is, in reality, a very harmful thing that stops us from living to our full potential? Through this book, you will see what shame really is and where it comes from. You will discover how it can endanger the feeling of being worthy and how it is so endemic in our culture. You will also see the cure for feelings of shame that is vulnerability. Vulnerability is the willingness to accept the failures and weaknesses we have openly, and it will allow you to build up resilience from feelings of shame and be happier with all that you have. If you can then manage to construct a culture of vulnerability at work, at home, or at school, you will get rid of those areas of shame and find that it brings more creativity, healthier families, and more engagement.
Daring Greatly major take-a-way #1:
Wholeheartedly living vs. the Culture of Scarcity.
After many years of collecting stories from real men and women's lives, Brené noticed a very common theme in a group of research participants. She noticed that she lived wholeheartedly in a place of worthiness, experienced a deep sense of belonging and love, and were only different in a few ways. This difference wasn't financial, race, gender, or age-based. This difference was in one area: they believed they were worthy of being loved and belonging. Living from this perspective did not protect them from heartbreaks, loss, or disappointment. They felt pain, like any other person. They were flawed and felt guilty, but the defining difference involved in these wholehearted people's lives was their view of themselves. When life got harsh, they gave themselves grace and understanding, rather than treating themselves with criticism. Rather than dealing with life through scarcity, they saw themselves compassionately and realistically.
Daring Greatly major take-a-way #2:
Shame is the fear of social disconnection; it's only human but still harmful, nonetheless.
We have all been through the experience of shame. And many of us know that shame is mostly triggered by our idea of what others will think of us. But to really understand how shame works, we will have to look at the basic human need for connection and a sense of love and belonging. As social animals, we are wired to look for others' company. Belonging to a group has been a very important part of our survival. This need is very strong, and social disconnection leads to pain, which is enforced in our brain chemistry.
Shame makes us shy away from actually putting us out there, whether it is presenting your work, expressing our feelings, or trying something wholly new.
But if we have a sense of our unconditional worthiness, we will be very courageous when on the verge of taking a chance. In her research, Brown has discovered that shame weakens our ability to believe that we can improve ourselves. Other researchers have also found that shame will only bring destructive, negative behavior that is blunt in terms; shame has zero good effects.
Daring Greatly Key Idea #3
Shame is a part of our current culture, and it brings forth fear of unworthiness of never having or being enough.
In a world where social media has pervaded, we are constantly presenting ourselves and our lives to people. We share the holidays we spent, the number of friends we have, and also our professional accomplishments for people to see – and envy. This envy often makes us have a feeling of scarcity, and most of us have been in this position. This is the 'never enough' culture that we live in constant fear of not being enough and not having enough. The inability to heal from the feeling of scarcity leads to a disrupted performance by post-traumatic stress. Rather than winning over trauma, we try numbing the fear by looking for more things.
Brown's other ideas explain how vulnerability is based on difficult emotions like fear, disappointment, and the birthplace of love, joy, and belonging. In her book, she has said that when we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we start living away from experiences that will bring purpose and meaning to us and our lives.
Daring Greatly does not only focus on winning or losing. It is about courage. In a world where being never enough is the feeling that is dominated, vulnerability is subversive. It is even a little dangerous at times, and without question putting ourselves out there means there are far greater risks of getting criticized or the feeling of being hurt.
But when we stop and examine our lives from a broader view, we will find nothing that is as uncomfortable, hurtful, dangerous as standing on the outside of our lives looking in and thinking what it can be like if we dared to step in the arena whether it's a new relationship, a creative process, an important meeting, or a difficult family conversation. Daring Greatly is the practice and a powerful new vision for bringing ourselves to the outer world and being seen.
If you find it hard to read a book, you can join the Avid Listeners Book Club. The Avid Listener's Book Club is created to read 1 book per month that can add value to your life, business, and relationships. Our goal is for members to create a return on investment of your time, energy, and resources with each title read! We cater to the audio listener; however, traditional readers who enjoy turning physical pages within a book are always welcome.